kit[inaboxw/brokenmirror]bits (kitbit) wrote,

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fearing sleep

what's worse than having trouble going to sleep too scared of the dreams you have?
having trouble going to sleep because of waking up miserable and hyperventilating to realize it's not a dream, it's your life.
or if you happen to have something resembling a half decent dream, that sinking feeling of panic when you realize how fucked up and far your life really is from that.
i passed out early last night for half an hour, woke up sweating to remember it's true, my family has pushed me out, i have no family any more, i have nobody.
so i stayed up until 7am instead, wide awake but too tired to stay up anymore, and still couldn't stay asleep for 3 hours.
i have no clue what to do this time.
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